


The target that I'm aiming at (I'll get that message home)

by Mildly_Maddy



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Canon Compliant, Friends to Lovers, Hand Jobs, M/M, On the Road Again Tour, Oral Sex
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-05
Updated: 2015-12-05
Packaged: 2018-05-05 01:50:42
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,890
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5356436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Mildly_Maddy/pseuds/Mildly_Maddy
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Set on the night of the cancelled Belfast concert. Liam mourns his relationship with Sophia. Louis's not very good at cheering people up (at first).</p>
<p><i>“She could have at least given it a shot!” he exclaimed, frustrated beyond belief. Why wasn't Liam angrier about this?! “She’d been with you long enough to know how it works! And she leaves you </i>hours<i> before a concert?! After pretending that everything was fine and dandy for weeks? Who</i> does<i> that?! And why the fuck are you still defending her?”</i></p>
<p>
  <i>“Because I'm the one who failed her!” Liam shouted.</i>
</p>
<p>
  <i>Louis's mouth fell open.</i>
</p>
<p><i>“</i>I'm<i> the one who didn't love her enough, </i>I'm<i> the arsehole who loved somebody else more, and she couldn't stand it anymore, so she left!”</i></p>
<p>
  <i>“... There's someone else?” Louis said, flabbergasted.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	The target that I'm aiming at (I'll get that message home)

**Author's Note:**

> We all knew this would happen eventually. You read and you read and you read and soon enough your brain wants to join in the fun. :p
> 
> Big, huge, massive, _humongous_ thanks to [Randominity](http://archiveofourown.org/users/Randominity/pseuds/Randominity) for agreeing to play Beta to a complete stranger, for the thoughtful comments and mad squeeing. ♥♥♥
> 
> This fic is dedicated to all the incredible authors I've been fangirling for months and who inspired me to dip my toes into fanfic writing again.
> 
> Title taken from Coldplay.
> 
> Standard disclaimers apply, this is all fiction, I do not own 1D nor do I know any of them. Please do not re-post this fic anywhere and _please_ never show it to anyone in the 1D crew.

“So I hear some big shot pop band cancelled their gig at the last minute because one of their members got explosive diarrhea, can you believe it?” Louis teased as he let himself fall face down on Liam's bed. It was well after midnight and Liam had been holed up in his room ever since they’d gotten back from the arena, a little after 9. Louis had tried to keep his distance for as long as he could, but the thought of Liam beating himself up one door away had proven too much for him to stand for any length of time.

He’d meant his comment as a joke, he really had (after all, the diarrhea part was certainly a fib. Liam had thrown up an alarming number of times, but that was from heartache and most probably from trying to calm himself with a mini bottle of whiskey or ten). But Liam threw him a pained look from where he’d gotten his face pressed down in a pillow, and Louis winced.

“The fans hate me,” Liam mumbled against his pillow in his best wounded puppy voice, the one that always made Louis torn between pinching him and hugging him. That’s when Louis noticed Liam’s phone, half hidden under the pillow, the unmistakable layout of Twitter on display.

Louis grabbed the phone and threw it behind his back, not caring where it landed. “The fans can fuck themselves,” he said fiercely, ignoring Liam's look of reproval. “How are you feeling?” he asked a few seconds later, instantly inwardly slapping himself. “Dumb question,” he added before Liam could reply. “I'm on fire tonight! Bet you're glad I stopped by.”

“I _am_ glad,” Liam said, earnest as always.

Louis sighed and scooted closer, wrapping an arm around Liam's shoulders and letting him cuddle up to him, Liam's face pressed against his chest. It was amazing, how small Liam could make himself be when he was feeling sad, all hunched in on himself like he was trying to disappear. Louis was used to feeling small next to Liam-the-oversized-pup, but right then he felt too big for his own skin.

“She's an idiot,” he whispered after a few silent minutes. “She's a fucking idiot.”

“Don't say that, Lou. She only did what's best for her. Things have been tough for her.”

“Tough?” Louis exclaimed, leaning back to look down at Liam. “What does she know about tough?! She’s only been travelling! _You_ were working your ass off!”

“Lou…”

“You know, all this time, I tried so bloody hard. I kept telling myself that she was the one for you, that she made you happy. And now I realize she was just another-”

Liam's hand clamped on his mouth before he could finish. The anger on his face startled Louis, but it was at least a welcome change from the moping.

“Don't finish that sentence,” he said, voice low and loaded. “I promise you you'd regret it.”

Louis huffed and yanked Liam's hand away from his mouth, sitting up. “I'm sorry, am I supposed to commiserate with the woman who broke your heart to pieces fucking _days_ before you got unlimited free time?!”

“Free time wouldn't have made anything better,” Liam said, sitting up and resting his forehead against his bent knees. He sounded more weary than Louis had ever heard him, and Louis had had plenty opportunity to hear Liam sound weary in the past year.

“She could have at least given it a shot!” he exclaimed, frustrated beyond belief. Why wasn't Liam angrier about this?! “She’d been with you long enough to know how it works! And she leaves you _hours_ before a concert?! After pretending that everything was fine and dandy for weeks? Who _does_ that?! And why the fuck are you still defending her?”

“Because I'm the one who failed her!” Liam shouted.

Louis's mouth fell open.

“ _I'm_ the one who didn't love her enough, _I'm_ the arsehole who loved somebody else more, and she couldn't stand it anymore, so she left!”

“... There's someone else?” Louis said, flabbergasted. All the anger drained out of him in a flash, leaving in its place a queasiness that Louis knew all too well, even though he never let himself dwell on it. There was nothing but disappointment and bitterness at the end of that road, Louis was sure of it.

Liam let himself fall back against the mattress, pressing his palms against his eyes. “Fuck.”

“But… how would you even have gotten time to… Who is it?”

“Forget it, Louis.”

“I bloody well won't forget it! Who is she, Liam?” Louis felt like throwing up, but he couldn't make himself stop. Faces flashed in his mind at lightning speed: that Italian interviewer whom Liam had blushed and stammered at for 30 minutes; the friend of Niall's who'd slipped her number to Liam the second Sophia had had her back turned; or was it a fan, a girl met for two fucking minutes in a crowded room? Any of these would leave him feel cheated.

“I said forget it,” Liam said, voice tight. “Forget I said anything.”

“ _Who is she_? I can't believe… I'm your _best friend_ and you didn't even tell me?! Just how-”

“It's you, okay?!” Liam blurted out, not looking at Louis. His cheeks had turned a deep red in the span of two seconds.

“What, it's my fault, y’mean? You fu-”

“It’s you,” Liam repeated. “The person I loved… love more than her, it's you.” He took a shaky breath, still avoiding Louis's eyes. “She didn't mind you as my best mate, but when she realized you meant more, it got harder.”

Louis blinked owlishly at him, his brain on standstill. Liam's words were bouncing around his head but somehow failing to make sense. “Shit,” he heard himself whisper.

“Yeah, I think that sums it up.” 

Liam closed his eyes, and after a while Louis laid back down next to him, staring up at the ceiling with unfocused eyes, brain still reeling from Liam's confession. He thought about pinching himself, but it had never worked for nightmares and anyway he knew it wasn't a dream. A dream wouldn’t have him feeling like throwing up and shouting with slightly shameful glee all at the same time.

“I'm sorry,” Liam finally said.

“Sorry for what?”

“For fucking us up.”

“You're not fucking us up,” Louis said instantly. He may need to wrap his mind around this, adjust to the sudden possibilities he'd spent so long telling himself did not exist, but there was no way he'd let Liam think something so unbearably stupid, not even for a second.

Liam chuckled, a bitter, jaded sound that Louis was not used to hearing coming from his mouth and instantly loathed.

“Liam, you’re not fucking us up,” he said again, turning on his side to properly stare at Liam’s profile. In the dim light Louis couldn't be sure, but Liam’s eye looked pretty wet. His lips curled up in a smile, and when he blinked there were definitely tears threatening to spill. Crying over Sophia was one thing, but Louis couldn't, wouldn't, refused to have Liam cry because of him.

“Yeah, right,” Liam choked out, before taking a long steadying breath. He was trying so hard not to break down, and Louis wanted to scream.

“Li, will you fucking look at me?”

When Liam finally rolled on his side to face him, Louis felt like dying. Liam was looking at him like he was expecting Louis to laugh to his face, like he used to look at Louis years ago, before he'd realized that Louis's dislike showed up in his silence, not in his bite.

“You're not fucking us up,” he repeated, trying to make his voice as firm as he could.

“Lou, it’s okay, it really is-”

“Oh for fuck’s sake,” Louis snapped, grabbing the back of Liam's head and crushing their lips together.

For all that Louis had thought about it before, it was remarkably unremarkable.

The world didn’t shatter. The ground didn’t split open. Angels didn’t sing over their heads. It was just Liam’s lips against his, and to be honest it was something that had happened before, because things inevitably ended up happening when you were young and horny and cooped up in a bus for hours on end.

And yet… when Liam’s lips tentatively moved against his, after what felt like hours of Louis staying still, refusing to relent, refusing to move away - Louis’s heartbeat went into overdrive so fast that he was left breathless, gasping against Liam’s mouth.

Liam seemed to take it as his cue to move away, and Louis let him, hand falling back to the mattress. He needed a few seconds, just a few seconds to process this.

“Lou…” Liam said, so softly Louis barely heard him above the roar of blood in his ears. “Lou you don’t have to-”

“When have you ever seen me do something I didn’t want to do?” Louis interrupted. He would not have it. He would not let Liam spin everything into a tangle of insecurities and self-loathing. More kissing, less moping, that was what was on Louis’s to-do list right now and Liam had better get on with the plan. “You’ll mope later. Now, we kiss,” he said out loud, before leaning forward and gently pressing his lips against Liam's.

It was barely more than a brush of lip against lip at first, barely enough to qualify as a kiss, but Louis instinctively felt that rushing things would only make Liam bolt for the door. He didn't think Liam had ever fancied another bloke and part of him was terrified that he'd balk and say he'd been mistaken.

Liam didn't balk, but he didn't quite kiss back, either. Louis pressed his lips to the corner of Liam's mouth, trailing them to the center in a soft drag, lingering there for a heartbeat before going back to featherlight kisses. His hands were sweaty with nerves, and they itched with the urge to dart forward and touch any part of Liam they could reach.

Still the only indication that Liam wasn't just lying dead next to him were the irregular puffs of breath against Louis's lip, and Louis started leaning away between kisses, further away each time, like someone trying to tame a wild animal by dropping bits of food closer and closer to their outstretched hand. Finally, right as he was about to give up, Liam surged forward, seeking Louis’s lips, and Louis felt Liam’s hand gently grip his upper arm, trying to keep him close.

Kissing Liam had been good, but being kissed back was fucking fantastic, and Louis's resolve to take it slower than anyone had ever taken a kiss started to erode as he took a kitten lick at Liam's bottom lip, then another one.

Liam's fingers clenched around his arm, so Louis did it again, and again, enjoying the fullness of Liam’s lips under his tongue, the faint taste of tea still clinging to them, sometimes gently taking one between his teeth, tugging playfully, until he darted his tongue once more and met Liam's.

They both froze, tips of their tongues pressed together. Louis could feel his heart beating in every pulse point of his body, from his neck to the crook of his elbow, the sound loud in his ears. Liam's tongue slowly slid forward, careful like Louis might suddenly decide to bite it off; Louis let him, concentrating on breathing, conscious only of Liam's tongue against his, Liam's breath on his mouth, Liam's heartbeat radiating all the way down to his fingertips. Then Liam sighed, and suddenly they were properly snogging, open mouthed and wet, Liam's hand sliding up Louis's arm and into his hair, tugging lightly to better angle Louis's head. Louis sucked on Liam's tongue and finally let himself touch, stroking Liam's cheek before clenching his hand around his jaw, loving the prickle of stubble against his palm.

The kiss ended as abruptly as it had started, Liam wrenching his mouth away from Louis's with a gasp. Louis slid his hand to the back of Liam's head and tried to pull him close again but Liam only pressed his lips to his in a kiss way more chaste than what Louis had in mind, before resting his forehead against his. Louis opened his eyes, but Liam's were still tightly closed. From this close Louis could count every eyelash on Liam's eyelids, and was doing exactly that when Liam's voice broke through the silence.

“So you really…” Liam whispered, sounding awestruck and almost scared; “Sophia said… but I never, I never thought you could...”

Louis didn't even think, just grabbed Liam’s hand and shoved it down against the crotch of his jeans. So much for taking it slow.

Liam’s eyes flashed open. 

“Can you feel how hard I am?” Louis asked in his best teacher voice, staring straight into Liam’s eyes and breathing a sigh of relief at the way they turned a darker shade of brown.

Liam didn't say anything, but his fingers curled around the bulge in Louis’s jeans and Louis’s eyes fluttered shut for a second. When he opened them again, Liam was beaming like it was Christmas day and Louis couldn't help but laugh, muffling Liam's protest with another kiss. 

Liam let go of him then, wrapping his arm around Louis’s back and pressing him tight against his body, angling his hips so Louis could feel the press of his hard cock against his thigh, as if making sure Louis knew he wasn't the only one. There was no hesitation in Liam’s kisses now, but a quiet kind of determination, as if now that he knew it was okay, he was going to take his time to make it good, that got Louis lightheaded. It only got worse when Liam flipped them over to settle on top of him, one of his legs slipping between Louis’s, the weight of him so different from the times they rolled around play-fighting, when Liam would try to make himself as much of a dead weight as possible to force Louis to surrender. Now Liam was clearly trying to make himself _lighter_ , shifting his weight to his forearms and shins, and Louis wanted to tell him that he wasn’t about to fucking break but that would have meant not kissing and that just wouldn’t do. So he settled for pulling and clawing at Liam’s body, bending his legs slightly to get more leverage and push his own body upwards, sucking on Liam’s tongue in the most explicit way he could think of.

Except Liam didn’t take the bait, somehow managing to turn Louis’s filthy kisses tender and slow, stroking Louis’s cheeks and jaw with the tip of his fingertips in a way that did not at all make Louis want to rub his face against them like a cat. Then Liam wasn’t even kissing him anymore and Louis would have felt swindled if it wasn’t for the way Liam finally rested more of his weight onto him, nestling his face against Louis’s neck and pressing his lips there in a gentle kiss that felt like a thank you.

They stayed that way for a while, their breathing and heartbeats slowing back down, the distant noises of the city an indistinct humming in the background.

“You know,” Louis finally said, breaking the silence, “I'm really, really glad we've cancelled the concert tonight. This is so much better than slapping your dick.”

Liam’s chuckle seeped into Louis’s chest. “I did think there was rather a lot of that going on lately.”

“What can I say,” Louis said airily, eyes falling shut as Liam started sucking a bruise on his neck. “I've got no self-control.”

Liam shifted slightly, trying to get more comfortable, and his thigh rubbed against Louis’s cock in a way that had it go back to full hardness in a dizzying flash. Louis gasped and arched up on reflex, hands clenching around Liam’s shoulders. He felt Liam’s lips trailing up his neck and held his breath, waiting. Liam’s teeth closed around Louis’s earlobe at the same time he pressed his thigh down again and Louis let out a strange kind of laughing moan, caught up by the fact that this was _Liam_ , his best mate, and it was so ridiculous and so bloody hot and Louis gave up on thinking as he started grinding up against Liam’s thigh, seeking more friction, his entire body suddenly focused on getting more, on getting everything he could. Liam’s erection rubbed against his hip with every movement of their bodies and that only made Louis more frantic; he already felt so close to coming and they hadn’t even gotten their clothes off yet.

“Okay you really need to stop doing this or I'm going to nut off in my jeans,” he said two minutes later, voice strained. His hands were fisted around Liam’s shirt so tightly he would not have been surprised if the fabric just ripped to shreds.

Liam leaned up so he could look down at Louis’s face, and for a second Louis thought he was going to get off him, which wasn’t exactly what Louis had been asking for. But Liam’s lips curled up into a smile so wicked it made Louis shiver, and he pressed his thigh harder against Louis’s crotch, in counterpoint with the frantic rise of Louis’s hips. “What if I _want_ to make you come in your jeans?” he said, leaning down to sprinkle kisses down Louis's jaw. “Take it as payback for all the dick slapping,” he said, lips trailing down Louis’s neck, “and the water fights… and fucking ripping my shirt off,” he added with a low laugh, right against Louis's shoulder. 

Louis’s answering laughter was breathless. “To be honest that's when I realised there was something going on there,” he said, grinning. “I fucking _loved_ … that concert - oh, _fuck_...” Louis gritted his teeth as Liam's hands slipped under his arse, grabbing both cheeks and pushing them up at the exact same time he pushed his hips down.

“Come on…” Liam moaned against Louis's neck, voice raw and deep, and for a second Louis forgot how to breathe. One of Liam’s hands left his arse to make its way under his tank top, fingernails scraping against Louis's ribs, trailing up. Louis’s cock gave a little jolt right as his brain realized what Liam was about to do, but even biting his lip wasn't enough to keep the groan that was torn from his throat when Liam tweaked his nipple.

He dimly felt another puff of breath against his neck as Liam laughed, then his brain fizzed out and his vision whitened as his nipple got tweaked again. “Shit bugger _fuck_ …” he moaned, arching under the solid weight of Liam's body. He came with a shudder, feet digging into the mattress, one fist pounding on the sheets, eyes screwed shut.

For a while there was no sound in the room but Louis’s ragged breathing.

“... Disgusting,” he said as soon as he could catch his breath, ignoring Liam’s snicker. He pushed him to the side and reached down to unbutton his jeans with shaking fingers, staring pointedly down at Liam’s crotch. “Trousers off. Yours, too.”

Louis focused on getting his jeans off, huffing when the zipper got caught in an errant thread. He got his pants off in the same motion and cleaned himself with them as best he could; it would have to do for now.

The brush of Liam's knuckles against his belly made Louis turn his head back to him. His breath caught in his throat at the fucked out look on Liam's face, as if _he_ was the one who'd just come his brains out. He was staring down at Louis's belly, fingers tugging at Louis's t-shirt almost absentmindedly. One glance down confirmed that he had at least taken his sweatpants off, along with his pants, but Louis didn't linger, not sure his brain could handle the sight of Liam's cock right then without completely losing any semblance of self control.

Liam tugged more insistently at Louis's shirt and Louis leaned up just long enough to get it over his head before lying back down, reaching out for Liam's own shirt with a cocked eyebrow; Liam got it off with shaking fingers.

For a moment, they just looked at each other, Louis lying down and Liam propped up on one elbow, Louis staring at Liam's face and Liam gazing down at Louis's body as if seeing it for the first time, reaching out to trail his fingers down Louis’s belly, catching in the hair there. 

Feeling his skin prickling under the attention, Louis slid a hand to the back of Liam's neck, gently tugging him down so they could kiss, before manoeuvring him so Liam was once again lying on top of him. 

The feel of skin on skin was overwhelming. Louis hadn’t experienced it much since Eleanor, most of his hook-ups hurried affairs that did not require all clothes to be shed, and he’d never experienced it with a male body, strong and hairy and muscular where Eleanor had been all curves and smooth skin, and he’d never experienced it with _Liam_ , who seemed to be in another category altogether. He’d seen Liam in various states of undress more times than he could count, and he’d laid in bed with him while wearing pants and nothing else, both of them cuddled up under the covers, but this didn’t feel like any of those times, not with Liam’s skin hot and damp against his, every puff of air from Liam’s mouth making Louis’s skin break out in goosebumps, every touch of his hands stealing the breath away from him.

The silence seemed to take on a different texture then, somehow heavier, headier, the room filled with the rustling of naked skin on crispy hotel sheets, Liam’s low huffs and Louis’s ragged breaths, the soft groaning of the mattress under their moving bodies; Louis was sure he could even hear the scraping of his blunt nails down Liam’s back, the bristling of Liam’s short hair under his fingertips.

Liam trailed his lips along Louis’s collarbones, down his chest, flicking his tongue over Louis’s nipple, then doing it again when Louis dug his nails into Liam’s side. He slid his hand down to Louis’s hip, thumb stroking the soft skin at the junction, and closed his lips over Louis’s nipple, sucking lightly.

“Fuck!” Louis gasped, pummeling Liam’s shoulder with his open palm. “Stopstop _stop_!”

Liam looked up at him with a pout that was only made more gorgeous by his unfocused eyes, and Louis felt his insides clench from the sheer strength of his arousal. He suddenly wished he could snap a picture, or possibly film a snapchat, post it online with a “Mine mine mine” caption. He’d always been possessive of Liam, if he was to be honest, but he was going out of his mind with it right then. “Stop that,” he said again, tugging Liam back up so he could mouth at his neck. “I’m supposed to take care of _you_.”

“But I like this,” Liam said, the hand he had on Louis’s hip sliding down to his inner thigh, thumb brushing up against Louis’s balls.

There was really no way that Louis was getting hard again so soon. Except for the fact that he was, dick slowly filling up with every touch of Liam’s fingers or mouth on his body.

“Later,” he said, nibbling on Liam’s earlobe. “How d'you want to come, Li? D'you want it like this?” he asked, pushing his hips up. 

Liam breathed out, low and shaky, but didn't say anything. 

“Or d’you want my hand?”

Liam whimpered. 

“Or my mouth, maybe?” 

Liam groaned, grinding down, and Louis beamed.

“You're going to have to tell me, babe…” he said when a proper answer failed to come, trailing kisses down Liam's cheek, gently pushing him up to look into his eyes.

“I… God. Have you… Have you ever done it before?” Liam stammered, cheeks a crimson red.

“Given a blowjob? Once,” Louis said, as casually as he could. He'd actually hooked up with guys more than once, but it had always been more about letting them take control than really doing anything much, which was a fancy way of saying he'd let a few guys grope his cock in club bathrooms on nights where he got drunk enough to start thinking about his best friend in utterly inappropriate ways. “So it won't be the best blowjob of your life, but I'll try.”

To his credit, Liam looked like he would rate Louis’s attempt as number one no matter what.

“Can we… I want to be sitting for this,” Liam said, sounding dazed, twisting away from Louis’s body and sitting up against the headboard at the same time he said it.

Louis kneeled in front of Liam's bent legs, resting a hand on each of Liam's knees. Liam's eyes were losing their focus again, and Louis couldn't _wait_ to make it worse. He gently pressed on Liam's knees so his legs fell open, finally glancing down at Liam's cock, hard and red against his heaving belly, and felt his mouth go dry with want, or maybe it was nerves, Louis wasn't sure. He leaned forward and kissed Liam to distract himself, hands slowly sliding down Liam's legs, thumbs pressing against the skin of his inner thighs. Liam sighed into the kiss, one hand burying itself in Louis’s hair, the other grabbing his upper arm again as if to anchor himself.

Not breaking the kiss, Louis brushed the pad of his thumb up the length of Liam's cock, then wrapped his hand around it, just holding it, getting used to the weight and heat of it.

Liam let his head fall back against the wall, almost knocking down the inane painting hung above the bed, mouth opened in silent panting. Louis stared at the curve of his neck, the slant of his jaw, overwhelmed with the sudden urge to sink his teeth into it, to mark every inch of it as his. His hand clenched reflexively around Liam's cock and Liam moaned, the hand he had in Louis's hair sliding down to the back of his neck and clenching around it just as possessively.

Louis bent down and closed his teeth around Liam's nipple at the same time he started stroking his cock, a couple of long slow strokes that wrenched an actual growl from Liam's throat and got him pulling and pushing at Louis, trying to get him closer. Louis leaned back, ready to tutt his disapproval, but one glance at Liam’s face made the sound die on his tongue. _There_ was the look he’d been aiming for. Liam’s pupils were blown wider than Louis had ever seen them, his mouth wet and opened, his cheeks flushed with arousal. He looked like he wouldn’t even notice if Harry or Niall walked into the room right then, would let Louis do whatever he pleased to him even with their entire crew watching, and fuck if that wasn’t doing Louis in in a very weird way.

He scooted back and leaned forward, switching his hold on Liam’s cock so only his thumb and forefinger were around it, not applying any pressure. It was only the second time he was this close to somebody else’s dick, and the first time he had been too drunk to think much about anything apart from the overwhelming urge to get his mouth around it, brain plagued with thoughts of Liam.

As dicks went, it was rather nice, a bit thicker than Louis’s but paler, too. Liam must have taken a shower when they got back from the arena because Louis could still faintly smell hotel soap under the overpowering smell of sex. He would have done it either way, but it was a nice touch.

“Lou…” Liam said, his hand hovering over Louis’s head. Right. He wasn’t there to stare. He bent down and took an experimental lick at the head, then swiped his tongue over the entire length of it. Liam let out a sound as if he was choking, which Louis took to mean he was on the right track, so he took another long lick, pressing the tip of his tongue down on the slit, tastebuds bristling under the first faint traces of precome.

He didn’t remember much about the first time he’d done this. He’d been drunk out of his mind and terrified after catching himself grinding against Liam on the dancefloor. He’d hooked up with the first guy that had made a pass at him, pressing him against the bathroom door and falling to his knees before he’d even really thought about what he was doing. The guy had ended up coming on his face, and Louis had barely noticed the phone in time to stop him from taking a fucking picture, half breaking the arsehole’s wrist and throwing his phone in the toilets for good measure. 

This was everything the first time hadn’t been. It was also ten times scarier, somehow, because even though he knew and trusted Liam, it was _Liam_ , and there was no alcohol to make any of it seem less real. There was just the foreign taste of Liam’s cock on his tongue, the heat of it between his fingers.

Louis wrapped his lips around the head and slid down, almost instantly coming to a stop. Fuck, cocks were huge. How the hell did people manage to do this? He tried to remember how girls had blown him, circling more of his fingers around the base and stroking them upwards at the same time he brushed the tip of his tongue under the crown, before sliding his lips down again, managing to take a bit more of Liam in.

He was probably doing a piss-poor job of it, but when he glanced up Liam was looking down at him as if Louis had hung the stars and the moon, mouth opened in surprise as much as bliss, as if he still could not believe this was happening. Sheer want coursed through Louis’s body again, settling into a hot curl low in his belly, and he whimpered around Liam’s cock. Liam’s fingers, which had up till now reverently stroked Louis’s head, clenched around his hair, and Louis moaned again, this time on purpose.

“Oh God…” Liam breathed out, hips twitching under Louis’s hand, trying to push up into his mouth.

Louis closed his eyes and picked up the pace as best he could, jaw already sore, determined to get Liam off as advertised, no cop-out. He reached down to fondle Liam’s balls with the hand that wasn’t holding his cock and moaned again as Liam started saying his name, again and again, a bit louder every time until he was properly moaning it, tugging on Louis’s hair so hard it actually hurt. Louis took the cue and pulled back, giving Liam’s cock one last lick before stroking his orgasm out of him. He watched, mesmerized, as come streaked Liam’s stomach and thigh, the rest of it dribbling down Louis’s fist until his fingers were sticky with it. Liam weakly batted at his hand and Louis let go of his cock, sitting back on his heels and letting his eyes roam the length of Liam’s body, taking in the deep flush going from Liam’s face down to his chest, the hair under his navel matted with come, his arms resting boneless in his lap. But the best by far was Liam’s face, his sleepy eyes and dazed smile. 

His hard-on had been easy enough to ignore while he was focused on bringing Liam off, but now he found himself aching for touch and release, fingers gripping his thighs while he tried to get himself back under control. Once he glanced down, Louis couldn't make himself look away, staring at his hand with hungry eyes. He figured he should probably have been repulsed but the sight of Liam's come on his knuckles only made his gut clench with arousal. He thought about bringing himself off with his hand still slick with it and bit his lip around a moan.

Liam's fingers brushing against his cheek made him look back up.

“C’m’here,” Liam said, voice soft and sleepy, gently pressing his palm at the nape of Louis's neck. Louis leaned forward gratefully, sighing into Liam's mouth, his clean hand coming up to rest against Liam's chest.

He gave a full body shudder when Liam's hand closed around his cock, raising on his knees to give him better access, panting against Liam's open mouth as Liam started wanking him off with long steady strokes.

“I didn't even get to see you come the first time,” Liam said in a whisper, voice gently reprobating as if Louis had been to blame for that.

Louis let his head fall down against Liam's shoulder and bypassed a clever retort for trying to remember how to breathe as Liam's hand picked up the pace, fingers tight and warm around him. He was about to complain about the dryness when Liam's hand suddenly left his cock, and even though his eyes were closed, there was no mistaking the sound of Liam lapping at his own hand repeatedly, trying to get it sufficiently wet. Louis moaned, feeling so close to coming already and desperate to make it last.

Liam's hand returned to his cock blessedly wet, his other hand stroking Louis's hair and shoulders, fingers scraping against the skin in a tantalising drag until Louis was a whimpering, quivering mess against him, legs shaking as much from the strain of keeping him upright as from his impending orgasm.

He felt Liam's forehead rest against his shoulder and wondered if Liam was looking down while he wanked him, looking at his hand moving over Louis's cock. The thought was enough to push him over the edge with a gasp, his fingers clenching around Liam's biceps as if holding on for dear life as Liam wrung his orgasm out of him with maddeningly slow strokes, like he, too, wanted to drag it out.

“Enough… enough!” Louis pleaded, voice hoarse, blindly batting at Liam's hand.

Liam let go of him and flopped back down against the headboard with a decidedly cheeky smile, eyes still heavy with sleep. Louis thought about twisting his nipple but his arms were made of jelly; he settled on nipping at Liam's neck, then let his eyes fall shut for a minute or two, until he once again felt capable of movement.

“Don’t go,” Liam said in a rush when Louis clumsily got off the bed. He looked so worried and peeved that Louis felt like an arsehole, even though he hadn’t technically done anything.

“Just cleaning up, I’m not going anywhere.” He got into the bathroom, blinking under the bright neon lights. His reflection was blinking back at him from above the fancy marble sink, hair standing whichever way, lips red and swollen from kissing and giving head, belly stained with fresh come; he looked a mess, looked like someone who had just gotten off with someone else, like someone who had just possibly taken the biggest leap of faith he'd ever have to take.

Louis braced his hands on the edges of the sink, staring deep into his own eyes as if they might somehow make sense of the jumble of emotions and half-worded thoughts bouncing around his head.

He didn't know whether to feel elated or anxious, was the thing. He wasn’t stupid. He’d known he fancied Liam for a while, long before he’d even gone and ripped his shirt open (that day had mostly showed him how far gone he was). But he’d never entertained the thought it might ever come to anything, never let himself really fantasize about it apart from uncontrolled dreams in which Liam would unfailingly morph into somebody else halfway through (into Harry, which was awkward, or Nick Grimshaw, which was baffling, or into Simon Cowell, which had been frankly nightmare-inducing). He had a massive crush on his best mate and maybe his obsession with taking selfies of them both during concerts wasn’t that innocent and _maybe_ sometimes he’d hit Liam in the nads just because it was either that or kiss him senseless on stage, but he’d had it under control, really.

Suddenly being allowed permission to actually do something about it, to claim these lips and the rest of Liam’s body, was as terrifying as it was wonderful.

“Louis?” Liam called from the bedroom, voice heavy with sleep.

Louis shook himself and ran some warm water over the first flannel he could find, wiping himself clean before returning to the bed, rinsed flannel in hand. He’d intended to smack it on Liam’s face, but Liam was curled up on his side and looked so sleepy and content that Louis didn’t have the heart to do it.

He climbed back on the bed and kneeled next to Liam, unsure of how to proceed. Liam made no move to grab the flannel from him, and Louis gently reached down, eyes fixed on Liam’s face. When Liam closed his eyes, Louis took the hint and cleaned him up, feeling his cheeks heat up at how intimate the gesture felt, never mind the fact he’d been sucking on Liam’s cock a few minutes before. 

Liam grabbed onto Louis’s arm the second he was done. Louis rolled his eyes and dumped the flannel on the carpeted floor before settling down, pulling the sheets over them as best he could considering half of them were trapped under Liam’s body.

Liam cuddled up to him like a big oversized stuffed bear and Louis bit his lip around a grin. He buried his nose in Liam’s hair, liking the feel of Liam’s stubble against his sternum, and wrapped an arm around Liam’s shoulders. He could hear Liam’s breathing slowing down and guessed he’d be asleep pretty soon. 

For his part, Louis still felt the farthest away from sleepy he had in five years. His mind kept replaying everything back to him in technicolor, just in case he’d missed part of it. Their conversation about Sophia seemed to have taken place ages away, and Louis still wasn’t quite sure how they’d gotten from Liam’s girlfriend to mutual orgasms, even though he couldn’t really complain. He’d gone to Liam’s room to fix a broken heart and had… well maybe he had just fixed it, and fuck if that thought wasn’t exhilarating.

“Lou?” Liam asked, startling Louis out of his thoughts. “You didn't… you didn't do this just to cheer me up, right?” Liam's voice was little more than a whisper and Louis wasn't entirely sure he even knew he was speaking out loud.

The urge to pinch Liam and hug him at the same time was so blissfully familiar it helped bring back some semblance of normalcy to the moment. “Okay, Payno,” Louis said, stroking the short hair at the nape of Liam’s neck; “I'm going to say this once, because you're out of it and you probably won't remember it tomorrow. But I mean it.” He paused then, the words stuck in his throat. “... I love you. Not like a brother,” he added straight away, and his heart did a little somersault as Liam’s lips stretched into a smile against his chest, “and not like a friend. I love you like someone whose cock I had in my mouth just fifteen minutes ago. So no, Liam, I did not do all this just to cheer you up.”

Liam didn't say anything, but he burrowed even closer to Louis with a contented sigh. Two minutes later he was softly snoring, grip already loosening around Louis’s back.

Louis lay awake for a long time, his thoughts slowly quieting until he was mostly just listening to Liam’s breathing and the humdrum of cars down in the streets. From time to time he'd hear voices in the hallway and doors opening and closing. There was a burst of laughter from Niall in a nearby room, followed by a dull thump that might just have been Niall falling off his bed. He laughed again straight after, which probably meant he hadn't broken something new.

Louis must have dozed off at some point because his phone pinging with a new text message startled him awake at 5 in the morning. It was from Jamie Scott.

_Heyyy. Fans pretty bummed out uh? How bout we unleash Home?_

Louis grinned.

_Can't think of a better time mate. xx_

_Great! Give me an hour._

Louis looked at Liam, sleeping starfished next to him, one arm carelessly thrown over Louis's lap. He thought about writing the song with him back during those sunny days in April, and what had been going on in his mind at the time, about everything that had happened since then. He really could not think of a more appropriate time to release it, could not come up with song lyrics he would want to share more than these right then.

When the song appeared on Spotify two hours later, Louis had had his fingers poised over his Twitter window for a good half hour.


End file.
